Genderfunk!

So, after missing it two years running, due to the appalling lack of advertising, I finally made it to Genderfunk. Genderfunk, for non-Willamette people, is the drag dance the gay people club puts on every spring. Of course, the blazer that fits me really well, my nice dude shirt and my hot hat are all up in Washington, because I totally forgot Genderfunk existed, but a quick Value Village run filled in. I found a blazer that fits pretty well and a new hot hat. So this brings my blazer count up to three (one of them is from my Macys days, though, and barely counts) and my fedora count up to two. Fortunately, they aren't the same, so I can mix it up a little.

Anyway, I bound my chest and all that, wore jeans and a t-shirt under the blazer to keep it chill, and was glad I have a pair of Converse because all the other shoes I have in Salem are girly. I ended up going sort of andro, rather than super masculine, and it worked out pretty well, I think. I felt like I needed a cigarette holder, even though I don't smoke. It would have looked awesome.

The crowning achievement of the night, though, was getting Yasu, a TIUA guy, to come with us. We dressed him up in some clothes of Annie's, my legwarmers to cover up his hairy legs, a necklace, some make-up and a blonde wig of Ellie's. The result? Well, check this out. Buff bicep aside, this outfit that we threw together in about 10 minutes came out pretty damn feminine. This kid's crazy, I love him. He's loud and outrageous and he sang to me on my birthday (complete with air mic) and drinks our wine and threw himself into this like it was the most amazing thing he'd done all semester. We dubbed him Yuuki, because his real name is Yasuyuki, so it's pretty close and easy to remember.

Annie ended up looking kind of like an ax murderer, but that's okay. She borrowed Alex's cape and darkened her eyes and used some mascara to make a goatee. Alex wore Annie's yukata (sort of a casual kimono) and Josh showed off his amazing legs with thigh-high stockings. Nikki wore a black jacket and slicked back her hair, but didn't bind her chest, so she just looked like a masculine chick. But that worked, too.

Since I promised to put Annie's picture in my blog, please direct your attention to my wife rocking ax murderer chic. In the hallway outside our room in WISH.

We tried to bind her chest, but she doesn't have a sports bra and the only ace bandage I had after binding mine was 3-inch, which ended up slipping. But her shirt was loose, she's not big-busted and the cape covered everything up well enough, even after the binding had stopped being effective. She pretty much spent the evening being a sulky count, but I hold to my eccentric ax murderer theory. It's more fun.

Anyway, prep stuff aside, at the party there was dancing to a 90s-heavy playlist (seriously, I felt like I was 12 again or something listening to it), attacking people with balloons, chilling and generally having an awesome time with people who aren't afraid to dress like the opposite gender. So it was way more fun than the usual dance, where people are worried about looking stupid.

There was also a drag competition, which I participated in. I didn't win, but rightly so because the girl who DID win the king half owned everyone. No, seriously, check this out (complete with the winner's crown). She's in my Japanese class and said that Genderfunk is a chance to take advantage of the fact that she can kind of look like a guy normally. She and I were two of the three people with fedoras. Someone somewhere has a picture of us looking badass as a trio. But that someone is not me, so I can't share it. A TIUA guy won for the queens, mostly because he shoved two balloons up under his tanktop to make huge fake breasts. It was so ridiculous, and he played it up so well, that everyone loved it.

I grabbed a different TIUA guy in a short skirt and escorted him around the circle when I went out. I tilted my hat very gentlemanly and showed off my lady friend. It was pretty funny because I caught him off-guard when I snagged him. I actually went around at one point with another girl in my Japanese class to the four TIUA queens and said "ne, nee-chan-tachi, dansu shinai ka?" (hey, sisters, wanna dance? (basically)). They all did a double-take because they weren't expecting tough guy Japanese from two American chicks dressed in drag. Then they said yes, while cracking up.

And then, at the end of the night, I got a pretty pimpin' picture. With my Japanese ladiez.

Yeah, pretty epic. This was at the end of the night, around midnight and a little before I left. The guy with his eyes closed is usually this tough rocker dude with a leather jacket and combat boots, who sits on the front porch of WISH smoking cigarettes at eleven o'clock at night.

So, in conclusion, Genderfunk? Awesome. A+ will go again.